Raising a baby in Japan...the four month checkup

There are some things that Japan does really well. So, while I'm not in what I would consider an ideal location (for me) to deliver babies or raise kids, I have been very impressed by the public health community here. Nathan's one month check up was back at the clinic where he was born, but the two month check-up took place in our apartment. A woman from the city office called and made an appointment with me, and then came, weighed Nathan, and sat with me for a long time answering all my questions about vaccines and services and the next steps. Parents are given a book at this two month appointment that lists local day cares, mama circles and play groups, obstetrician's offices, and even things like emergency drop off places where you can bring your kid without notice in an emergency and they will receive care. She sat for a long time and explained what was in the book so that I didn't have to fumble around with my dictionary and figure it out for myself. Very helpful!

Of course, there are still many things I don't get. I showed up at a local doctor's office a couple months ago trying to figure out where I do our "three month" appointment. I don't know where I got the idea in my head that there was an appointment every month. But we were all confused, and the polite staff finally managed to communicate that I should go to them for vaccines, but that there were no more official appointments until 4 months, and that one was done by the city.

So, I was a little apprehensive about a health check done "by the city". My image before going was that we would kind of be marched like cattle through a gymnasium...military style shots in the butt as you walk in a line past the person giving the shots...and while I was being apprehensive about this, Nathan's fourth month kind of came and went without me figuring out where and when we could have this city check. We got a postcard right about when he turned five months giving the dates for the next month that it was available. So, yesterday, I got up my courage and we went to the appointment.

You know what? Japan does a few things really well. We were in a large room, but they had intentionally sorted us into small groups so that we had a group of other moms to go through the various processes with and to talk to while we were waiting. I wasn't able to make the best use of this time, because I spent about the entire half an hour we were waiting getting help filling out detailed medical forms that I could only partially read. Three cute young volunteers were assigned to us for this task, and we struggled through words like diabetes and tuberculosis and pre-eclampsia until I could figure out my answers to everything.

After that, we went in where we sat down to talk with a person one on one. The public health lady very simply asked how I was doing physically and how I was doing emotionally and we had a very comfortable and personal feeling conversation about postpartum recovery and adjusting to new motherhood. We went from there to height and weight checks, then for a simple medical exam. Nathan decided he wanted to show off, and when the doctor flipped him over to his belly, he popped up on his hands and knees. We were all in shock. He has been rolling and creeping around, and he does a lot of the pushing up to his hands. But I've never seen him actually on his knees before. Our days of only partial childproofing are coming to an end, I think! Then we sat down as a group with a nutritionist who gave us the low down on solid foods. At the end, they sat us down one-on-one again and went over anything they thought was important and made sure none of our questions had been missed. There were a lot of individualized recommendations...one woman was lectured about vaccines, and I wondered if we would be since we're a little behind schedule...but they just reminded us that we should have checked out his hips by now, and helped us find a doctor close to home where we could make sure they're okay. We ran in and out of that doctor in about 15 minutes on the way home.

It's a little crazy trying to navigate the medical system with a baby for the first time when you're mostly illiterate! And it's a little different here to figure out where to ask questions. I find that there is usually zero time with the actual doctor to ask questions unless you ask for it. So I'm finally learning that, rather than saving my questions for the doctor, to make sure to ask the nurses up front, or to take time with these wonderful public health people to figure out what's up.

Nathan's Baptism

After a LOT of wrestling over what I thought about infant baptism vs. adult baptism, I was surprised when I found myself in tears this morning sitting in the front pew in church with my husband and my son, waiting to bring him up for baptism. More than just having come to a place of surrender, somehow I was actually excited for it too. (I've been raised in churches that do both, so I really wanted to wrestle it through with God before I made a choice for our kids. And Joel, who has never been confused about the issue, was patient enough to allow me to do the wrestling before we went through with it.) Nathan screamed pretty much from the second we stood up to baptize him up until we finished praying for him at the end...and then I was able to settle him down. So, I was glad I had that one reflective moment sitting in the pew before we brought him up and all my attention was on him rather than the words.

We decided to baptize him on Pentecost Sunday. The Japanese churches I've been in usually do baptisms on Christmas and Easter, but Pentecost is another option. I've always thought Pentecost would be an awesome day for baptisms, but especially because it was the day that God said "Yes!" to the prayers for a baby. It felt really fitting to offer Nathan back on the same day a year later that I found out he was coming. Crazy how much can change in a year!

Nathan barely calmed down for a picture

Cindy and Nathan

Suda-san has become one of Nathan's adopted grandmas. Nathan will get to meet his real grandmas this summer, but I'm thankful for adopted Japanese grandmothers!

Me with Pastor Nomura and Nathan

In Pastor Nomura's sermon, he talked about how special the baptism was because it is the first baptism he has gotten to do since the earthquake. He talked about God providing people who are willing to raise their children here, and I was so encouraged. When I came to Fukushima, it seemed like such a strange call . . . like I had so little to give at that time in my life. I remember praying that God would use our presence there, if nothing else, to communicate hope. I often forget, since my words never seem to communicate hope the way I'd hope they would, how much it really can mean just to stand with people in a place. I hope to be able to do more for them someday...to someday have the Japanese and the wisdom to speak more in. But I am encouraged to know that living here with a baby is an encouragement to the Christians who are standing here.

Introducing the little one!

A few days old.

I'm sitting here now with my one month old son curled up on my stomach. Nothing better than snuggling with a content, sleeping baby! Here's the part where I want to write all of you a ten page novel about the birth and life with him. We'll see how long this nap time lasts!

I've wondered if I should write up an entry about giving birth in Japan. I was encouraged to read a lot of different birth stories from foreigners who did just that while I was pregnant. But, I'm not sure that I actually feel like writing up my whole birth story for anyone who stumbles on this blog to read. If anyone ends up here who is pregnant in Japan and wants more info, feel free to comment and get in touch with me. I'd love to help others get more info!

40 weeks pregnant!

What I will say is, the birth was difficult...not necessarily because I was in Japan. I do wonder if it might have been different somewhere else, but that is more because I gave birth in a rural area where the option I really wanted was not available. Someday, I still hope to have a water birth in a birth center supported by midwives instead of doctors. This time, I gave birth in a small clinic with a doctor. There are many women's clinics that do births in Japan. At mine, the first story of a pretty small building is the clinic, the second is where women are hospitalized postpartum, and the third story is labor and delivery. I was so fortunate to be able to have not only Joel with me, but also my good friend Cindy who both helped with labor and translated. I really didn't feel like there was even one moment where I didn't understand what was going on because of language.

Proud daddy with his brand new son!

The short story is that I had moments where contractions felt like they were becoming regular starting on my due date. I went into true labor six days later around noon, just after going to the doctor for my regular appointment. Nathan was born about 13 hours later, right at 41 weeks. What was very amazing to me was that I had no concept of time, and it felt like everything was going very, very fast to me. Unfortunately, it wasn't...at least the pushing stage wasn't. So, after pushing for about an hour and a half, since Nathan's heart was showing signs of distress during contractions and there was meconium in the water, we had to extract him via vacuum.  This was all without pain meds, which was how I wanted to do it, and I think it would have been a good decision except for the vacuum. I don't recommend unmedicated vacuum extractions. ;-) His positioning was a little off...the doctor kept explaining that he had been trying to come face first, and a little sideways. The cord was wrapped around his chest and neck also. But despite the pain and difficult delivery, Nathan is here. He came out a little purple, and not crying right away, but they had him breathing quickly, and his Apgar at 5 minutes was a 9, so all is well. The poor guy had a huge circular bruise from the vacuum on top of his head for a few days, and was a little jaundiced, but by a few days in was gaining weight like a pro and doing great!

One of our great nurses!

A Japanese hospital stay is typically very long compared with America. We spent a week with some wonderful nurses. Joel was able to sleep on a couch in the room. It almost felt like a protected "practice run" at being new parents. Nathan had to stay in the nursery per policy for most of the first 24 hours, but the night after that we kept him...until 5am when we called a nurse to take him. So we were able to ease our way into making it through the night. I was really grateful for the long hospital stay. I really felt ready to go home around day 5, and I can't really imagine how women manage being home with a newborn and healing up just a day or two after giving birth.

Nathan and his buddy in the clinic nursery

The most intimidating thing about going home was just how thin our walls are. After a week in a super climate controlled hospital room, something about our cold bedroom with the winter winds that can make things rustle right through the window panes seemed like a bad place to bring a baby into. We're still waiting our first electric bill, as this is the first time living in Japan that we've left the heat on 24/7.

Our celebration meal at the hospital

Life with Nathan has been wonderful and challenging. I'm surprised at how expressive the little guy can be. I know I have all sorts of new mom hormones raging through me, but even after a month, I can spend hours just watching his face and feel so much joy over him. I have trouble carrying conversations sometimes because being in the room with Nathan is like being in the room with someone I have a crush on...so distracting!

Time just to snuggle and be together

Within the last week or two, he's started making many more coos and baby sounds. He is most happy when I can settle in our rocking chair and he can go back and forth between eating, snuggling and sleeping, and perching on my shoulder looking at the light coming in the window. While he's perched he'll be making all kinds of coos and gurgles and even grinning from time to time...until he remembers that he likes eating pretty much all the time and then it transitions into him making his mouth into a little round "o" and trying to eat my shirt until I take him down and feed him. I was worried about feeling lonely with so much time alone at home with a baby--and I do miss more adult conversations--but there is a lot of peace at just accepting that right now what's best is snuggling with this little guy while he's little.

Up until this past week, we haven't been able to set the baby down without him crying. Luckily, he will snuggle in bed with us, so we've been able to sleep. I'm glad that I had done all the reading on co-sleeping before he was with us and decided I was for it (though I was a little nervous at first), because I don't know how we would have gotten any sleep otherwise. Now I can often set him down for an hour or two during the day and get a good nap in or get a few things done around the house. Speaking of naps, this one is over! But I was able to write much more than I thought. :)

My little man :)