Tired Days

It never ceases to amaze me how my predictions about "tired days" are often completely wrong nowadays. In college, it seemed like multiple nights of six hours of sleep would result in feeling sick almost immediately. I really couldn't function without sleep, and I fought for it bravely.

Today I am going on seven hours of sleep from the past two nights combined...about two hours last night and five the night before. I dropped friends off at the train station this morning, and I'd been saying to them how I thought this would be one of the days when I would be trying to lead my classes in conversations about their weeks, and my brain would be completely gone...or at least out on a prayer mission rather than listening.

It's interesting for me to walk into my classes feeling like there is nothing in my head. And there's something very peaceful about walking in telling God, "This one's all on You...really."

This morning I found it easier to focus on my students than it has been in possibly two or three weeks. They had wonderful questions during Bible study, and I felt the discussion was great. I found myself with social energy abounding to go into the kitchen and help them clean up afterwards, where the two women told me about some of their confusions about the Holy Spirit and told me they were really looking forward to understanding better. There was a chance to share the Gospel with them in a more personal way than in the whole class.

I'm not saying going without sleep is a magic recipe for God moving...but relying on Him for real is...well, real. There is a strength that is not from inside of me, not from how much sleep I get, not from how much alone time I've had or from how many chances I've had to connect with another person deeply...these are all things that fill me. But there is a kind of strength that surpasses all of those and makes no rational sense to me at all.